Growing up my mom had a very clear life plan for me. Finish school, go to college, get married and have kids if I want to. She would have me repeat that all the time. So when I moved in with Aric I made it pretty clear I wanted to get married. It's the plan.
Aric and I got engaged on Christmas of 2003. It wasn't a grand proposal. After we open presents he went to the back room and brought out the ring. I had picked it out and I honestly don't remember if he said anything at all, I think he just handed it to me and I knew what that meant.
I wrote "Got engaged! Yup-Aric got me a beautiful ring for Christmas. he's such a doll. Boys are boys that's for sure."
I was 23. Such a baby. . . I wonder what I meant by boys are boys. I was following the plan. I loved him so you get married. Aric made me laugh and was so smart. He was worldly to me. He introduced me to so much. So much art and so many new kinds of foods. So many firsts with him.
Another sidenote from Aric last year. I notice now it doesn't say anything about his heart though. . .
Often I would just think about him and then he'd start messaging me. I barely engaged in conversation recently because it was all over the place. He'd be ranting about guns or how he didn't give me aids or how he wasn't my kid's dad. Talking about swarms and dying. Everything was the worst. Everything hurt. Life was a prison. Pain, pain, pain. I'd respond with happy little quotes or a suicide hotline but I didn't even really read them. Oh it's 3:30am, he's fucked up. There's a bunch of jibber jabber not even words.
Over all those many years, in hindsight, no one ever loved me more and I didn't really listen to him. I did the best I could with what I knew but it wasn't great.
Aric and I got engaged on Christmas of 2003. It wasn't a grand proposal. After we open presents he went to the back room and brought out the ring. I had picked it out and I honestly don't remember if he said anything at all, I think he just handed it to me and I knew what that meant.
I wrote "Got engaged! Yup-Aric got me a beautiful ring for Christmas. he's such a doll. Boys are boys that's for sure."
I was 23. Such a baby. . . I wonder what I meant by boys are boys. I was following the plan. I loved him so you get married. Aric made me laugh and was so smart. He was worldly to me. He introduced me to so much. So much art and so many new kinds of foods. So many firsts with him.
Another sidenote from Aric last year. I notice now it doesn't say anything about his heart though. . .
Often I would just think about him and then he'd start messaging me. I barely engaged in conversation recently because it was all over the place. He'd be ranting about guns or how he didn't give me aids or how he wasn't my kid's dad. Talking about swarms and dying. Everything was the worst. Everything hurt. Life was a prison. Pain, pain, pain. I'd respond with happy little quotes or a suicide hotline but I didn't even really read them. Oh it's 3:30am, he's fucked up. There's a bunch of jibber jabber not even words.
Over all those many years, in hindsight, no one ever loved me more and I didn't really listen to him. I did the best I could with what I knew but it wasn't great.
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