mighty me

March of me. Marching to the beat of me. mememememememe. . . it's me me me. me me. I might have to make a meme about it.

Might be month of March processing Mighty. . . he passed. I've never been so close to someone on the other side even though he was my ex from long ago.

I found my journal from when I met Mighty (Aric) in January 2000. I was 20. We met on the 20th but I didn't write about it until "Jan 23 well really 24 by an hour forty five."

There are some parts that make me cringe a little and this next line is #1 cringe worthy: "Blues Traveler is the week of the music. Music of the week. Good." I was not sober. Sober Abby did not say this.

"Goodness, Mighty a maybe came into my life through a big chance" A MAYBE?!? Wonder how Aric would have felt about being a maybe. And the "big chance" was that his roommate and my roommate worked together at Old Chicago's on Market Street and had recently started boning.

"I don't know - time will tell. Does it being perfect exist I believe soo." Time will tell. It is not perfect.

"I see the future Today!" I don't remember that, I wish you would have elaborated.

"I can feel the artist pumping through my bod again!" It's funny an artist had been pumping through my bod earlier but that's not what I meant.  I was talking about ME. me me me. . . I was feeling inspired. Mighty was a brilliant artist.

"YES THANK GOODNESS!" (more embarrassment ahead)

"I pray, meditate, What ever today. Please Make me happy. I Believe! I can see. It's WHats for Dinner."

I thought that was it but the whole next page and half is a free flow poem or sorts:

Russell Brand is reading a study to me on Facebook right now about love, or questions to ask if it is real love or not. . .   and said "How intense are your emotions? People high in attachment anxiety, people that question their own self worth in relationships. Tend to experience a high degree of passion when romance is budding." Intense emotions huh? I didn't know about attachment theory then. I didn't even learn about attachment theory until a few years ago in therapy. Definitively a part of this era. Definitely.

So ya, I'm taking a walk down memory lane and I miss is my blogger self, I'm going to show up for that side of myself in March. I'm going to show up for the parts of myself I love. I'm going to read books I've been wanting to read. I'm going to write things. I'm going to paint things. I'm going to move my body in ways that feels good. I'm going to sit and meditate or day dream for 21 minutes a day. I'm going to surround myself with things that inspire me. Get enough rest and take care of myself for all of March. I'm marching to my own drum. I'm drumming to the beat of healing. . .

Find this poster at Boldomatic