my tattoo

i got some work done today on my tattoo. . . mary

(missy rising at kaze gallery is doing it for me)

i'm kind of swollen!  it will heal.  i was kind of worried about getting a tattoo on my arm, but now i realize how rare it is to wear short short sleeve shirts anyway.  well it's fall too so i'm pretty much always in long sleeves, no one even sees it!  i still show her off.

so she's not a traditional mary.  i was going to do spring on one arm and fall on the other but i had this strong urge to get mary.  

i have a lot of marys in my room.  one night i drew her.  i realized she would have breast fed jesus.  so i drew her breast feeding jesus, with tape over her mouth.  it was subversive and some would say sac-religious huh?  but mary wasn't given much of a voice was she? 

have you heard of the madonna/whore complex? 

The tendency for men to not be able to integrate the "dualisms" of women. Though EACH and EVERY female IS in fact fully capable of BOTH, it appears man's greatest challenge is to resolve them both in the same woman, thus these two aspects of the female must be relegated into two very separate and distinct categories--one or the other, black or white, Madonna or Whore. It's a shame men can't just accept that both are available to them in the same woman. i realized that's my mary. . . she's the dualism.  she's human.  she's sexy and she's saintly.

feel the love

do you follow posie gets cozy?

Alicia Paulson lives in portland so i love her pictures, but they just adopted a baby and man i can feel her love. . . i cried. . . so lovely

for christmas

i want this please

oct 22, 2005

my favourite thing is when life is like a movie.  check this. . . after a fantaboulous evening out with friends, new and old, a wonderful night of sleep, my good friend needed cheering up over brunch and bloody marys this morning. . . . sitting at a lovely dive, in walk two waiters from the breakfast place next door, lovely cross dressing breakfast servers, to take a quick shot before they run back to their tables.  ah, love is a battle field played the perfect soundtrack for the most perfect moment on an amazing fall morning.

first mention of a movie moment

Nov. 9th 2005

Asshole Warning signs

1.  False Representation

Possibly false, altered or old photos, ideas or words.

2.  Always says the perfect thing

Must have the perfect action to back up perfect statement.  As you know actions speak louder than words.  Also, you’ve heard the saying too good to be true, well, it is.

3.  Known Enemies or Adversaries

“But they are so nice, this person must have it wrong.”  They don’t, they know, do you really need to see why.  That’s what I thought.

4.  Poor Tipping

Anyone who has any sense of anything will know, YOU HAVE TO TIP WELL.  Servers make like $2 an hour.  Even if you drank more than you can afford, does not mean that they don’t deserve a good tip.

5.  Unsavory living situation

This may be a crack head roommate or no home to lay their head (except yours).  Yeah, may be beautiful, may all so be an asshole.

6.  Too Cool

This list is long.  Faux musician/artist.  Feigns self-destruction and champions positivity.  Possible defunct scenester/hipster.  Too stylish (see #7)

7.  Frequent Public Vanity

As in frequent lip product application, glances in mirror, hair fixing.  Reveals this beauty is only skin deep.

8.  Rationalizing morally or ethically reprehensible behavior

Need I say more?

9.  Poor Handshake

I know I’m not the only one who has learned about and experienced the negative effect of the cold dead fish.  Do not trust someone with a bad handshake, it is gross and it is wrong.

10.  Complement Fishing

They are the coolest, yet they ask for more??  Fishing is not necessary.

Failure to Pay Attention to these signs will result in:

~Nightmares/loss of sleep

~Losing sense of integrity

~Lies

~CRYING

~Deprecated self-image

~Unanswered phone calls (how many songs have been written about these beautiful assholes)

~Loss of trust

~Heart ache

~Possible actual physical pain

~Guaranteed emotional pain

~Need for vengeance and revenge

~Getting fucked over

Dec 6, 2005

bliss

worth is what is hard to see
making love won't set me free
i just can't let things be

but i still try
              and open these eyes.

perfection isn't what i strive for
constantly wonder is there more
i pick my dirty underware up off the floor

continue, i fly
               till the day we die.

so i repeat this over agian
convinced there won't be a bloody end
i know my will will not bend

i am worthy of this
                it is my bliss.

~abby jane~

Feb 22, 2006

today i was standing at the copy center at office depot on colofax and overheard 3 black women having a conversation behind me: "hey girl, i haven't seen you in forever." "yeah i was sick for 6 months, and i got a baby." "oh yeah" "yeah, i ran in to so and so and she doesn't want her baby" "i'll take it" "girl, you always want a baby" "yeah, i don't care if it is a boy or a girl." "she already has one baby and her due date is on the other baby's birthday, she can't handle another one." "yeah, i'll take a baby" "ok i'll tell her" um, excuse me. i didn't know this was the way it went. oh i don't want my baby and people are trading babies in the office depot's of denver??? that's crazy.

Aug 31 2006

i was driving and saw a woman tripping over her shoes. it seemed as if the right white sneaker had snuck off her heal and she was trying to get it back in. a blue sack was swinging in her right hand. her mousey brown hair was in her face and a strand was in her mouth. her face was destressed. was she having a day like mine? she swagered into the parking lot behind benders. she turned sharply to the left, i thought someone had called her name. perhaps she thought the same. she leaned against the wall for a moment, then turned to the silver suv to her right. i thought possibly she was about to put the bag into the trunk. from under the car i saw she set the small blue bag on the ground, she reached down. i thought she had dropped something and was about to pick it up. left hand on the ground. she fell on her face. directly on her face. she did not try and stop her fall. she did not get up. i called the police. i did not stop.

hot pink breifcase

wouldn't you take me more serious if i had this. . .

i really want this.