ego notes

You can tell when the ego is trying to lead (rather than the True Will) when there are annoying thought tape loops in the foreground of consciousness — But what if I do this?, but what if this happens?, but what if that happens? The ego-led mind keeps ricocheting back and forth like an overheated ping-pong match. When the ego and mind work together without the leadership of global intuition you get this sense of restless strain and anxious effort. Another way to tell that the ego is leading is when you are caught up in any of the following gerunds: fearing, hoping, dreading, desiring, wanting, wishing, doubting, pre-structuring, envying, supervising, lifeguarding, complaining, comparing, self- pitying, pleasure-seeking, self-aggrandizing and glorifying, indulging, anticipating, expecting, contriving, hedging, clinging, identifying, rationalizing, pushing, straining, and imagining negative possibilities. This list should give an idea of how much of the time the ego is seeking to dominate our process. Each of the gerunds is a function of doubt, the supervisory ego does not accept that the universe is unfolding as it should and is straining like a white-knuckled driver to wrest control. When you are following the Tao you can sense yourself in congruent alignment with your path, which may still have difficulties, but you know from the depths of your being that you are on the path. The ego wants to push for progress, and wants to clear up ambiguous and ambivalent situations by making some permanent, decisive choice. The way of Tao is to accept that you are in a state of ambiguity and ambivalence and wait in non-action until things become clear before going forward.

zap oracle

i just wanted to make some notes for myself from a reading on zap oracle. . . my friend just told me about it.  pretty right on for today 


"Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism." — C.G. Jung

What are your addictions? The addictions could be to foods, intoxicants, compulsive sexuality, unworthy companions, grooved patterns of emotional reactivity, fundamentalist/absolutist rigidities of mind, poor quality cultural products — music, movies, porno, channel surfing, first-person shooter video games, etc. and any sort of habituated, mechanical patterns in your life. The positive aspect is that this is a propitious time to work on freeing yourself from addictions. You need to be your own wise alchemist, supervising what is entering your cauldron and where and on whom you bestow its contents.

1) Clarity - Know what you want to do in your life every day. Have clarity of goals, listen to feedback and adjust yourself to the feedback you receive from the world.

2) Center – You are in Balance. Your goal is to focus, to know how to avoid distractions, to become at one with what you're doing, with all of your attention under your control.

3) Choice - Knowing there are a variety of possibilities around you, that you're not determined by outside events but have choice and can move within it. Whatever you do, you do "at Choice".

4) Commitment- Care for what you're doing at all times. Remain conscious of what you care about. Commit to it.

5) Challenge - Keep upping your challenges as you master a certain level. Always make life more challenging." 

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain. 

tattoo inspiration fall

so i've had the idea to get spring and fall tattoos on my arms for some time. . . 

just getting some images together for the fall sleeve.